Monday, October 26, 2015

For me, personally, it's always been therapeutic to write down or verbalize my thoughts. Actually having...no, actually taking the time to do that is a whole different ball game. Cheers to a shot at it. I will start off right now by saying this blog is NOT going to be grammatically correct. There WILL be misspellings, commas used in the wrong places and things I say might not even make sense. Hence, my downtime is usually after 9pm and I am almost always tired. So, if you are one of "those" people who can't stand errors and mistakes....this will be full of them so feel free to move on to another blog. In my few and rare moments of spare time where I am not running after my "littles," pulling out my camera to capture the beautiful, fleeting moments in life, editing pictures, running errands and cleaning up what feels like never ending messes, I have found that I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do. In those few minutes when I do have some "me" time not answering a gajillion questions from my littles or constantly answering their beckon calls, I am at a loss. One of the big choices when a free moment arises that I have to ask myself is "Do I shower? Edit pictures? or nap? These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I found out in July that I was pregnant with our third little nugget. We currently have a little girl, who, I can't believe just turned 5. She is seriously the most thoughtful, generous little 5 year olds I have ever met in my life. She made us parents in 2011 when we got approval in April, 2011 to travel to Taiwan and bring our baby girl home. It was a few months prior to that I found out I was pregnant with our son. After several years of infertility going from zero to two babies in the same year was pretty extreme. (Mostly wonderful, but also terrifying at the same time.) Move forward 4 years later....it was quite a surprise finding out we were pregnant. A weekend at Bethany Beach with Greg's mom to help with the kids and BAM crazy things can happen. When I found out we were pregnant again I had mixed emotions. Happy that we were going to have another baby, sad we weren't going to adopt were some of my first thoughts. The previous 2 years I had been wanting to start the adoption process again. I had the adoption application printed and waiting. Waiting for Greg, waiting for God, praying for him to change Greg's heart or mine....one of those difficult, on-going conversations that was more one sided. The struggle to get on the same page sometimes ain't easy. But after the miscarriage, we revisited the conversation of adoption and God helped align our hearts on the same page. So, we talked about the next steps in adoption and Greg was on board. Really exciting news! After being married 11 years now...getting the go ahead for adoption meant I was on the adoption advocacy site that night, talking to sweet friends who have adopted, learning all our options. I'm not one to dawdle.